Written by It hasn’t been an easy month with women’s rights. It’s not shaping up to be a good year for them, either. When I heard the news of the supposed leak in early May, I was beside myself and honestly thought, “There’s no way this will pass”. I was so very wrong. Now, the decision has been made and the choice or lack thereof is being gently laid on the plates of each state. A lot of people are upset about this and they should be. This is not about babies or fetuses; it is about the governing of a woman’s body and punishing that woman for going against what the government says she’s allowed to do. This has been largely decided by the Christian church. Church and State are in fact not at all separate. That can clearly be seen with the allowed Christian prayer in school. It is certainly not up to the government, Supreme Court, or any person in this world what a woman chooses to do with her body. I am sickened over how far this has gone and terrified to think of the heights it could reach. What’s next?
The Bitter Truth About Cancelling Abortion
Let’s take a walk down story lane and talk about Samantha, a 34-year-old woman who has tried to successfully become pregnant for 5 years. She finally became pregnant shortly after turning 30 years old and could not have been more excited. Months of ultrasounds and happy moments passed like the season’s change. When Samantha was 4 months pregnant, something terrible happened; her baby’s heart stopped. She screamed and cried in the doctor’s office and demanded the ultrasound technician try again and again. Her tears and the tech’s reassurance that she would be okay but did nothing to bring her 4-month-old fetus back to life. She was something way beyond depressed; suicidal. She blamed her busy lifestyle, she blamed her diet, and she blamed herself for the heartbeat that would never be heard again. Now would come the worst part; the baby had to come out or she herself would become ill with an infection and face even more obstacles. She could not bear to think of how they would take the baby out and how she would likely not be able to hold her tiny dead child.
D&C: Dilatation and Curettage
Samantha cried quietly as she lay on the operating table. She hadn’t stopped crying since the day she found out she would not raise a small human this time like she had hoped. She cried not because she was scared of the physical pain that would come next, but because she too felt dead. How would she and
her partner move past this? It felt like the world was ending. The fetus would be removed by the D&C method, which is most commonly used in these cases for fetuses less than 24 weeks old. The small life she had created would be cut into removable pieces if necessary and be pulled out of her body.
During the D&C, Samantha’s cervix was dilated and softened by giving her intravenous oxytocin and manually using a medical bar that widened in diameter and forced her cervix open so as to allow the pregnancy tissue to be removed. A spoon-shaped razor-sharp surgical tool was inserted past her cervix and pregnancy tissue was scraped out. What couldn’t be scraped out easily was vacuumed out. When she woke, she was very groggy and in pain. That was nothing compared to the pain she held in her heart. No woman enjoys losing a baby.
Abortion is Medically Necessary
No woman likes abortion. In this case, it was medically necessary. The fetus was too big to simply let nature take its course. To miscarry naturally and excavate the fetus would be very bloody, horrible to see, and emotionally damaging to the mother’s wellbeing. If Samantha’s fetus had been larger and older, she would have not been able to avoid an actual birth. To imagine a mother who so desperately wanted to hold her baby just one time has to go through actual labor and give birth to a dead baby that would never cry, need a diaper or want their mother is so very hard. She would have been able to hold the lifeless body before it was taken to the morgue. There would be no birthday photos, there would be no happy faces and celebration and there would be no going home with your precious baby. You would leave empty-handed and empty-hearted. Now, because Roe vs Wade has been overturned, the option to have a D&C has passed. That’s not even the worst part.
It is a Choice
Many times, it isn’t a choice but life or death for the mother. Many things can go wrong during a pregnancy and those things can end the life of the fetus or the mother; sometimes even both. What if you are a mother of two young children and during your pregnancy with your third, you find out you have a severe complication that will likely kill you during childbirth if you make it that long. Think about those two kids growing up without a mother. Think of the family of those children scrambling to fill the void their mother emptied when she died. Whether the mother is 6 weeks or 30 weeks pregnant when she finds out about the complication, it doesn’t matter. A life will be lost one way or the other. Is it fair to force the mother to sacrifice her own life for an unborn child’s knowing that she will be saying goodbye to her other children who desperately need her? No, it’s not fair. What is fair in a horrible situation like this is giving the mother a choice. It is her body; her life and it should be completely up to her whatever she decides. A woman’s body is for her and her alone to care for and make decisions about. Women should never be treated like murderers because of a difficult choice. Abortions are not a walk in the park for women. Every bit of it is extremely difficult and none of our business.
I couldn’t agree more with your article. As a man, it really is not my right to place any personal beliefs over the autonomy and safety of a woman. Your account of Samantha’s loss is heartbreaking. And you tell very well. Thanks for bringing in an real example. As difficult as it was to read, it works much better than an abstract one would.
You have my full support on this one. Either way, I don’t think my opinion on the subject matters. What matters is that the court got this completely wrong.
Thanks, David! I was afraid to even look at this comment because I thought, “Dammit, too early to fight coherently!”, but I’m happy to see that this helped you understand the importance of choice. I would likely never have an abortion unless it was medically necessary. I have a five year old and could have easily chosen to abort because I was told I couldn’t get pregnant and didn’t want children at 35 anyway. I had been sick for a long time with an autoimmune disease. My pregnancy was high risk and I had to go to special doctors. Also, the father was someone I had just met and he turned out to be a very bad idea. He threw us out before our child was 2 months old and we had to sleep on a couch at a friend’s house. So, I raised this little guy alone.
But… I have known quite a few women that didn’t have a choice because their babies had died or were suffering. Those women were beyond sad and sooooo depressed. Two of them now have healthy babies/children but I will never forget what they went through and honestly don’t know how they were able to still stand strong.
Now “they” are talking about some sort of punishment for women who cannot carry to term because of illness, etc, and lose their baby early in the pregnancy. Then, I read something yesterday about a 10 year old rape victim being forced to carry to term now that Roe vs Wade was overturned. How completely horrible is that? Her life will be sooooooo hard and she’s still just a baby!!! Anyway, thanks for the kind comment.